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withnail and i quotes here hare here
Armed with this splendid script, Richard E. Grant executes a tour de force as a relentlessly angry-at-the-world unemployed actor and raging alcoholic. Withnail: You mean we've come out here in the middle of f***ing nowhere without aspirins? [points a fencing sword at Marwood face] Imagine the size of his balls. Withnail: Balls, I'll swallow it and run a mile! Marwood: Jesus Christ! We've got to get some booze. Marwood: Then they must be delighted with your career. Jake: I expect they're dead down the drain. This is ridiculous. Peter Marwood ("I"): Stop saying that Withnail, of course he's the fucking farmer! I really don't want you to. Required fields are marked *. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. We can't go on like this. Withnail: Eggs and things. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. I'm good looking. Marwood: (Voice-over) Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, and for once I'm inclined to believe Withnail is right. Uncle Monty: (referring to his cat) Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. Listen, I don't know what my f acquaintance did to upset you but it's nothing to do with me. I tell you, I've a f*** sight more talent than half the rubbish that gets on television. Do you mean you've been up here in all this beastly mud and oomska without Wellingtons? Well, don't. Monty: I couldn't, I'm spaced. Marwood: Marwood: Withnail: I'll sleep here. I'm not having this shag-sack insulting me! You can never, never disguise it. Why have you drugged their onions?! Two out-of-work actors -- the anxious, luckless Marwood and his acerbic, alcoholic friend, Withnail -- spend their days drifting between their squalid flat, the unemployment office and the pub. [voiceover] What had I done to offend him? I'm the firelighter and fuel collector. Withnail is cowering under the covers, the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch, screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning, the man who called Marwood a ponce gets up and walks over to them. I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. Don't get uptight with me, man. Marwood: Ah! I never thought he'd come all this way. Monty: Marwood: That's what I want to know! Because I want to walk you to the station. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Policeman 1: Withnail: The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. I feel dreadful, I feel really dreadful. Ive absolutely no interest in yours. Here are found the emeralds, sapphires, carbuncles, topazes, chrysolites, onyxes, beryls, sardius, and other costly stones. I must be out of my mind. Get that damned little swine out of here! Withnail: [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] Withnail: How should I possibly know what we should do? And the Coalman looks at him and says "You think *you* look normal, your honour?" Shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour. Withnail: I'm in a park and I'm practically dead. "GET IN THE BACK OF THE VAN!" "I feel like a pig shat in my head." "Don't threaten me with a dead fish." "A coward you are, Withnail. Nor women neither. There can be no true beauty without decay. Me? Outvie him. [teary-eyed] "I fuck arses." We're doing a feature for Country Life. Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. Danny: Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up! If The Crow and Crown ever had life it was dead now. Withnail: I could take double anything you could! Marwood: How noble in reason! *Bastards*! What fucker said that? Withnail: Have you been at the controls? [holding him back] He gags and gasps]. This doll is extremely dangerous. Here grows the plant Assidos, which, when worn by any one, protects him from the evil spirit, forcing it to state its business and name; consequently the foul spirits keep out of the way there. This may be the reason bald-headed men are uptight. It was like walking into a lung. 10 quotes from Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay: 'We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell.' . Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. Of course you are! The fucking kettle's on fire! Have you had any training in the martial arts? Danny: He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken]. [referring to the radish on Monty's lapel] It's got to warm up. Flowers are essentially tarts. Marwood: (Voice-over) Danny's here. Half dead he may be, but I'll come up after you, and I'll wake you up with a live one. They are playing poker with bottle tops and a . They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworths, man. Policeman 2: He's been fed from arsehole to beak. And how dare you tell him I love you?! Flowers are essentially tarts. You got a rush. I could hardly piss straight with fear. Soak up the booze. *Arrrgh*! It's like Greenland in here. Marwood: Withnail: I don't want to hear anything. Danny: If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision - let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Marwood: I think you've been punished enough. I demand to have some booze! Withnail: You want me to call what's-his-name and ask him about his house? [after being threatened by Jake the poacher] What happened to my agent? This huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. [in a telephone box, speaking to an operator] There are are things in there; there's a teabag growing! No, his dog doesn't come up here. But sooner or later you got to get out, because it's crashing. Marwood: This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. [Heckles pedestrian] Throw yourself into the road, darling, you haven't got a chance! Uncle Monty: Oh! [smiling] How dare you tell him that?! There is a certain. Uncle Monty: Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. Withnail: We've gone on holiday by mistake. The bastard's about to run at me! That is an unfortunate political decision. And that's why you mustn't hold back, let it ruin your youth as I nearly did over Eric. Marwood: I've no idea, I've never met him. One of us has got to stay on guard. It's impossible to use 12 papers on one joint. In this case, it most certainly would not. Withnail: (Wry smile) Sorry about that. Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. What the fuck are you talking about? Wake up, you bastard or I burn this bastard bed down! A Massachusetts man was sentenced to probation for running an illegal hare trapping operation in Maine. We get in there and get wrecked, then we eat a pork pie, then we drop a couple of Surmontil-50s each. But he's a very low-temperature spade, the Coalman. How dare you call me inhumane?! [reading a newspaper] Precisely the reason I'm smoking it. Hello? Find your neutral space. Marwood: You're full of Scotch, you silly tool! How can it be so cold in here? Monty: His head must weight fifty pounds on its own. He says he won't come in for lunch without an apology. I recommend you smoke some more grass. I must be ill. Monty: Making an enemy of our own future. I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. Withnail: Marwood: But I never really had it in my blood, and that's what's so essential, isn't it, theatrical zeal in the veins. We can't go on like this. Hello? Thought I was going for a minute. Hair are your aerials. The carrot has mystery. Withnail: 'He used to get in bad tempers and act up,' said his wife. Withnail and I completed its run in 1970. That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Withnail: I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. "Curse of the Superman. He gags and gasps, Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet, as Monty continues to recite the line from Hamlet, Marwood gets up and whispers in Withnail's ear, after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. [looking at a newspaper] Withnail: (He spits out a globule of phlegm) Jesus, look at that. This is me, naked in a corner! Withnail: These mom & son quotes will help you describe your love for him. Withnail: Look at my tongue. Withnail: And how dare you tell him you rejected me?! Withnail: Half an hour? Withnail: Marwood: Marwood: And we want them here, and we want them now! Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering. Withnail: Withnail: There must and shall be aspirin, or I shall die, here, on this f***ing mountainside! In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. Night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. Quite freaked me at the time. Yes, we'll buy this place and we'll install a fucking jukebox in here and liven all you stiffs up a bit! That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Danny: His sister give him the idea. We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. He's lent us his cottage. Time change. I demand to have some booze!. Chin-chin. This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety. Were incompatible. These are the sort of windows faces look in at! And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. Withnail: I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. We are 91 days from the end of this decade and there's gonna be a lot of refugees. Why can't I have an audition? Marwood: Alas I have little more than vintage wine and memories. Withnail: I fail to see my familys of any interest to you. [staggering out] Marwood: Quotes.net. Listen, you young prat. [Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel]. What a piece of work is a man. *Fork it*! Withnail: No, I'd better go. Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. He went to the other place, Monty. Indeed, I remember my first agent. Start shouting. This suit was cut by Hawkes of Savile Row. Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. You love him. And we want them here, and we want them now! "I'm gonna pull you head off." Danny: Let him get his drugs out. Monty: Afrika Korps. Withnail: You've got soup. Who is the huge spade in the bath? The only thing you're in that I've been in is this fucking bath! And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. If you have any question or suggestion then just comment below or contact us. I've no idea. I know how you feel and how difficult it is. Marwood: (Takes the shotgun) Well let me tell you something, Withnail. Sherry? *I'll show the lot of you*! [high-pitched voice] by Anonymous: . For reasons I can't really discuss with you, he had to go to Jamaica. Hare. Withnail: And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. He wants to get down there and have sex with those cows. You merely imagined it. Withnail: I didn't think he'd come all this way. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. [gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back] Uncle Monty: Oh, my boys, my boys, forgive me. [a live chicken is standing on the table]. Dosed 'em. [the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting]. Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. I'm preparing myself to forgive you. Jake: Go with it. Find the exact Withnail: Why can't I get on television? Withnail: Marwood: You never discuss your family, do you? tags: humour, withnail-i. What have you done to them? Them pheasants are for his pot. I'm not gonna understudy anybody. Change down, man. Withnail and I is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . "Here. I think we've been in here too long. Sherry? *Aaaaarggghhhh*! It's too hot so he drops it]. Discover the priceless words that sparkle and shine here. No need to get uptight, man. Marwood: [takes pill out of doll] Trade: Pheno-dihydrochloride-benzorex. reading, studying, and reflecting this history have led to this moment. Irishman: Withnail: Come on, old boy. Tea Shop Proprietor: I think we've been in here too long. Danny: Listen to me, listen to me! [Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. What is it? Withnail: Why don't you use a cup like any other human being? [voiceover] Withnail: They are flat broke, so they move to the house of Withnail's uncle in the countryside. When I strike they won't know what hit them! As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! Here hare here? I sense there is world play but I just don't get it. You want working on, boy! [Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet], Withnail: These aren't mine, they belong to him. [ruefully] An old woman with a clunky hearing aid pinned to her apron opens the door, she still doesn't answer. Get into the countryside. We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. I'm glad you're the proprietor, I was gonna have to have a word with you anyway. [he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his]. Withnail: Withnail: Don't threaten me with a dead fish! Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. He doesn't have any friends. I've been to drama school. Why doesn't he retire? It's obsessed with its gut. Marwood: Withnail: Monty: Withnail: "I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head.". Now, would you leave? The carrot has mystery. Withnail: I could take double anything you could! You will make it low. Its landlord was a retired alcoholic with military pretensions and a complexion like the inside of a teapot. We are multimillionaires. All right, Miss Blennerhassett, I'm warning you, if you do, you're fired. Withnail: How noble in reason, how infinite in faculties! Waitress: Monty clearly has some difficulty in reading the note. And it isn't his fault he cannot love you any more than it's mine that I adore you. Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. By the time the doors opened he was arseholed on rum and got progressively more arseholed until he could take no more and fell over at about 12 o'clock. [leaning out the car window] Marwood: My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. Marwood: Withnail: You got to throttle him. Withnail: [looking at the kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes] Marwood: No we're not, we're here. Well, I don't know. Monty: This *is* the morning. You undo your valve and give them a dose of unadulterated child's piss and they have to give you your keys back. A pair of quadruple whiskies and another pair of pints, please. Will we never be set free? Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. Marwood: Marwood: [narrating over scene] quotes duty call warfare modern war. This is ridiculous. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Sitting down to enjoy my holiday. Marwood: He can eat his ****ing radish. Withnail: And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Marwood stands there, petrified]. We were wondering if we could possibly purchase a pheasant off of you. Headhunter to his friends. Withnail: I assure I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly, I've only had a few light ales. I imagine they're talking to each other. Quotes.net. I'm not having this shag sack insulting me! Monty: Marwood: As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. The old bugger's come a long way and I didn't want to put the wind up him. I've already put two shilling pieces in. I'm starving. "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." There must and shall be aspirin! Very, very foolish words, man. There is, youll agree, a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm, young carrot.. Works the lake, but keep it under your hat, hm? If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. Withnail is cowering under the covers]. I've only had a few ales. Belongs to the fellow downstairs. Withnail: Monty: Jake: My heart's beating like a f***ed clock! So he looks at the Coalman and says, "What's all this? And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. What makes you possibly think I've got anything for your pot? I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth. Man delights not me, no, nor women neither. It used to give him bad tempers and act up said his wife. I think a drink, don't you? Monty: There's the supper. [Withnail's lonely, aging homosexual uncle Monty has gone home, leaving a note humbly apologising for the desperate sexual advances he made on Marwood the night before]. And soon, I suppose, I shall be swept away by some vulgar little tumour. Wake up you bastard, or I burn this bastard bed down! Shut that gate and keep it shut! I called him a ponce. Monty: I say, you know what we should do? A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. [offering Monty a glass] Monty: Withnail: You'll have to find us first. Listen, Monty, there's something I have to explain to you. Press J to jump to the feed. I'm gonna be a star*! His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own. Withnail: Voila! Must be 20,000 sheep up there on those volcanoes, we've got a plate full of carrots. Sulking up the hill. I've been to drama school. Withnail: Marwood: [Contemplating how to kill a chicken for supper] It's got dreadful beady eyes, they stare at you. Tea Shop Proprietor: This doesn't go down at all well. If my father was loaded I'd ask him for some money. Monty: We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Now, come along, I'm going to teach you how to peel a potato. I'll be sprouting bloody feelers soon. Danny: I mean, look at us! Withnail: [reading from the paper] "In a world exclusive interview, 33-year-old shotputter Geoff Woade, who weighs 317 pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. I was merely making an observation. [Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid]. You just wait. Danny: I want something's flesh! I don't consciously offend big men like this. Monty: [a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback]. Marwood: What is all this "tactical necessity" and "calculated risk?!" Danny: When they take a holiday "by mistake" at the country house of Withnail's flamboyantly gay uncle, Monty, they encounter the unpleasant side of the . Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! I've always been fond of root crops but I only started to grow last summer. Danny: We'll keep them here til they arrive. 4 Mar. Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect clip. Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe . Danny: We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in. This thread is archived. Monty: The older order changeth, yielding place to new. This ain't fancy dress." Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). I wouldn't drink that if I was you. [lunges towards the sink] "I'm gonna pull your head off because I don't like your head.". You're looking very beautiful, man. According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. Any minute now he's going to rush out and get into his tights. And this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him. Old suit? Imagine the size of his balls. I assure you I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly. Listen, I think you should strangle it instantly in case it starts trying to make friends with us. How dare you. The wankers on site don't drink it because they can't afford it! Nor women neither. No fridges, no televisions, no phones. Throw yourself into the road, darling! If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. Offer him yourself. There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! I'm not going to understudy anybody. We live in a kingdom of reigns, where royalty comes in gangs. What a piece of work is a man! Marwood: Marwood: Cake. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. You got a rush. I feel like a pig shat in my head! [voiceover] 4 Mar. Laisse-moi, respirer, longtemps, longtemps, l'odeur de tes cheveux. It's impossible, I swear it. There is a hare tied to the door with a note attached. Danny: I dont advise a haircut, man. I say, you know what we should do? It'll happen. Now, look, you. Marwood: You know what we should do? Sort of said it without thinking. Scrubbers! Uncle Monty: It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane.". Marwood: A coward you are, Withnail! But old now, old. Monty: Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E04 High Diving Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E11 Tortoise Beats Hare, [SINGING] Hare Krishna, Hare Lama Hare Krishna, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E08 Water, Water Every Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E37 Frigid Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E13 Slick Hare. We'll have another pair of large scotches. Before I became a journalist I was in the Territorials. We might wanna do a film in here. That's a very good idea. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. You're looking very beautiful, man. Would you like a drink? You lead him astray. Withnail: Two quid? Marwood: [they go and sit down at a table with their drinks]. It's impossible to make a Camberwell Carrot with anything less. Yes, but if it rains, we're buggered. He had a weight under his fez. extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky, seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. Tea Shop Proprietor: Your email address will not be published. Imagine getting into a fight with the f***er! But now he's stopped, he's much better in our sex life and in our general life.'" Withnail: Gi' me one in t' knee. How right you are, how right you are. Marwood: What goods the countryside? by Anonymous: reply 16: February 3, 2021 10:58 PM: I've gone on holiday by mistake. A little before your time. No more than you have. Be seated. Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Marwood: [he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it]. Withnail: Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! I'm in considerable danger here, I must get out of here at once. Withnail freezes in terror with a mouthful of pie, ripping Withnail's tartan scarf off his neck, Withnail suddenly runs out of the pub, so does Marwood, Marwood is in the pub toilets, after walking past a hulking Irishman who's called him a ponce, Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid, he pours the lighter fluid down his throat. [the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down]. Hairs are your aerials. You don't understand. [casually lighting a cigarette] He winces as he stretches his leg, the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down, they go and sit down at a table with their drinks, fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons, a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback, he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his, after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm, Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor, Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel, Withnail has been pulled over by the police for speeding down the motorway in the beat-up Jaguar, gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back, in a telephone box, speaking to an operator, noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes, after being threatened by Jake the poacher, Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff, Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play. Danny: Then why's he wearing that old suit? Ponce! I wondered if you could sell us some food. Bit early in the morning for festivities, isn't it? Withnail: Withnail: You been away? Withnail: Oh, but how dreadful. Withnail: How can it be so cold in here? Danny: Sod your pheasants! This is a court, man. You know, farmers, travelling tinkers, milkmen, that sort of thing. Alright, we're going to have to work quickly. These eels are for my pot. Oh, don't tell me you're not aware of it, I know what you're up to and so do you. [to Withnail] The only programme I'm likely to get on is the fucking news. [holding up a pill] Sinew in nicotine base. We're not from London! It's like Greenland in here. The "I must sleep with you because I've been scared" - convenient isn't it, when you're both half or . Just say there are a couple of drunks in the Penrith tearooms and we want them removed. I've got a bastard behind the eyes. The paragon of animals! Monty: Withnail: I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? Monty: How like a god! I'll swallow it and run a mile! Withnail is walking him to the station in the heavy rain]. Why don't I get any soup? I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! So here we are gonna talk about some of thebest quotes from the movie. Jesus Christ, this huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. "In a world exclusive interview, 33 year old shot putter Geoff Woade who weighs 317 pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. Withnail: Withnail: Poacher. *What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the fucking night*? We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here and we want them now! It's a bloody chicken! You want working on, boy. Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! Marwood: [telephoning his agent] Don't suppose you've engaged, have you? I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing. You don't deserve such loyalty. Forgive me, it was inconsiderate of me not to have telegrammed.
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